a girl and a guy rented a hotel room for a night. theyre siblings and stayed up all night watching very classy movies about farm animals and each of them ordered a chocolate cake to eat while watching their fantastic informational film.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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What is 2 + 2? 3 LOL

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Yo' mama's such a hoe she got arrested last week for prostitution charges!

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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Your mama's so stupid... She scored below average on a recent IQ test.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between slavery and the Holocaust? Slavery happened.

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Gary Busey walk into a bar. Everyone Ran out noticing the potential danger.

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What happens when two jews meet in the bus ? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth telling a joke about that.

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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