-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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A mans opinion.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

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There is a middle-eastern man in customs with a turban and a briefcase and he is profiled by his race which is a sad fact of our society.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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Snarf Nuggets

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i dont like chris

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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