A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

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How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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Breast cancer.

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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what do you call a white guy on a bus load of blacks guys? probably his name...

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I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

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The Game.

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house. A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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