How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

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In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

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yo mamas so cruchy people might mistake her for a cheeto!

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Why does Danny work at the factory? Because Danny is in an substantial economic crisis, and doesn't have enough money to afford food for his 6 kids and wife. They will all most likely die soon, as his factory job will not provide enough money.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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