I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between a Black man and a White man Skin color and possibly many other things because that is reasonable and normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats long and green? weed

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anagram.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Zach Barlow

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops