What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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why was the little girl crying? because she was molested

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Neither does he.

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops