Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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Type 2 diabetics

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You're Adopted.

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

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colby doesnt shave

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A genie came out of a lamp explain?

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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homework

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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