"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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What Did batman say to robin before they got in the car..... Get in the car

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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