A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

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Roses are Purple Chickens are gray I'm color blind You have cancer I'll see you in hell Ba bye now

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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Paragnormal Activity: The confused sequels. My wife literally had an heart attack 5/5! -Awesome reviews. I am going to need therapy for the rest of my life! 5 out of 5 stars! -Star reviews THIS MOVIE KILLED MY DOG! 4.5/5 -Petlovers I literally died! 10/10 -Rotten Potatoes.

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i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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Have you ever heard of Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

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why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

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Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

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"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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