What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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Roey Jegen

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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What's black and red all over? Half a cat

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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25

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Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

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do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

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Wanna here a good joke? Sure, but you spelled hear wrong.

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what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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