A man walks into a bar Ouch!

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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person: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? person: A Hipster. Me: False.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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shitted on em put your numbah 2s in the air if ya did it on em

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

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whats up fuch you bitch

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yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

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What do you call a hobo that lives a in a box. A hobo

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Maturity is a virtue.

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

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What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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What did the unappreciated YTPer say in the comment section of Nyan Cat? "PLEASE CHECK OUT MY YTP'S! I'M BEGGING YOU! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!! WHY?!!! Q_Q"

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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