why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

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Why are you reading this joke? There is this nice 'Bad Idea T-Shirts' ad right there.

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What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

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Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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What's black and red all over? Half a cat

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops