- Anti Joke

If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

i put the STD in S.T.u.D all i need is U!!! F_CK all i need is U!!!!!!! o.0 lolzzz

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

Spotto

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

Give me thumbs up!

I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

hi will

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

Lol! Why you wanna know?

What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

i put the STD in S.T.u.D all i need is U!!! F_CK all i need is U!!!!!!! o.0 lolzzz

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??