What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"Sorry, our servers are being derpy right now. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." "Couldn't find the lulz you were looking for. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." HORSEHEAD NETWORK... YOU CANT HANDLE THE LULZ! MORAL MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

hickory dickory dock no one cares

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops