How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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Q: Why do so many people write "So a man walked into a bar" A: Because they lack the intellect to think of something creative, and still other peoples material.

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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four nazis are walking towards this jew. as soon as the first nazi came in arms reach of the jew he and his friends started to maliciously hug the jew.......................................and then 20 years later they killed his family.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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Roses are red Violets are blue... No they are not they come in many different colors from cross breeding and different environments.... YOU ARE WRONG

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Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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