What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

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Take off your shoes.

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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Women's rights.

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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