Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

Roses are red Violets are buckets This poem makes no sense Boobs

-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

Chad Wolbert is retarded.

Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

please dislike this or else i will continue writing this, lalalalalalalalalallalalalalallalalalalalalalallaallaalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalallalalaallalalalalalallalalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalalalla

Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

Black People.

Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a friend chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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