How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

thumb_up thumb_down +2

We are lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats purple and savage? Barney!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black and white and black and white and black and white? A chessboard.

thumb_up thumb_down

where wally? wallys a myth.

thumb_up thumb_down

Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are all blondes dumb? They are not all dumb but constant bullying just saying blondes are just pretty gives them that illogical stereo type

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

thumb_up thumb_down

how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops