What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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Type 2 diabetics

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Why does Logan Cole beat off to Yo Gabba Gabba! ? Because Tim Tebow.

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

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Women's rights.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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Cleveland winning something

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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