Q: What do you call a black preist? A: Father

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What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

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Why does matt daly get confused for? A Penis

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Where does someone who has lost his arm, has a bleeding head, is mentally ill, has strep throat, and lung cancer go? Too late, they died.

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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What is 2 + 2? 3 LOL

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

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whats 2+2? math.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops