Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

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ME NAME IS JEFF

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Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris? well no one knows for certain, but they do know there's alot of fridges involved

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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