What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase as a chicken its intulect this very low so walking in the middle of the street was it's 1st instest. Ther'for it crossed the road and made it to the other side safe. Now please don't ask me a stupid question like that again.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mama is so fat that when she farted she called it global warming

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There was a Black and a Mexican in a car, they were on their way to church.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue My friend has diabetes Stop posting diabetic jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... So he could be hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

YA MAM, is a very nice person

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops