why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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Dylan is a person

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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meme

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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