Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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Today is May 18 2016.

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

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What is a chair?

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

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What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

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Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

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Why was there a black guy in the back of a police car? He was caught stealing

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shammmm is a lesbian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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