What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

thumb_up thumb_down +10

the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Today is May 18 2016.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is a chair?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops