How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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a potato flew around my room

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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penus

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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