What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

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Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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Men, get on the boat.

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Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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Flying aboriginal on a magic carpet

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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