IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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Membean

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press Ctrl and F4 on ur key pad

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once upon a time there was a boy

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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Why was the Mexican socially inept. Because he hadn't recieved a good education

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? there is one alive at the bottom. what is worse than that? it eats its way out.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

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Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

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Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.

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What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops