Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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Kim Kardashian got a job.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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one day 2 strawberrys walked to the ice cream store and ordered a small cup of banana ice cream they were realley happy they were later taken in and tortured and raped

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How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

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Cleveland winning something

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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