why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? there is one alive at the bottom. what is worse than that? it eats its way out.

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see the CN tower. He was then hit by a fridge dropped by people running tests on the top floor.

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops