Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea. That would depend on what time you are reading this. As i have no control over this, I am unable to inform you of China's current time. Perhaps you should look into a watch, world clock, or some other device capable of telling the time. That is not the Purpose of this website. However, there are numerous other places for this. God luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can, and only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

What did the black kid get for his birthday?

why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

The eighties called They were pretty exited about inventing a telephone that can call the future

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

How did the girl die? 25.

Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

Why did the man die? He got shot!

Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...