why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops