What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Cheese stick

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

PUDDING

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

crap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops