Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

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GONNA

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25

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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Moral"We all miss someone sometimes during our life, but just remain patient as you aim again, reload and hit that someone!"

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What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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