A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

thumb_up thumb_down -4

sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Minecraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a black man kills a family member of a mexican guy. the mexican guy goes to the police, what happens? The mexican guy gets deported back to his country after they realize that he was illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Obama getting elected in 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a kid named austin walks into school and gets kicked in the nuts byyy

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you get when you cross a scotsman who doe'snt know anything about football,and a indian who doe'snt anything about football .blackburn rovers , and a good night out.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

thumb_up thumb_down -4

poop is very very yummy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

please dislike this or else i will continue writing this, lalalalalalalalalallalalalalallalalalalalalalallaallaalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalallalalaallalalalalalallalalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalalalla

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops