Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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i like tits

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Billy. Billy who? Billy your next door neighbor, I need to borrow some sugar. Ok, come in.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

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Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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A black guy is lying on the floor dead with a knife next to him, what killed him? Multiple bullets sprayed from an uzi being held by a rival gang member....

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

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why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

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A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

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I am a n1gger.

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My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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