if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There is a British man, a Mexican man,and a American man on a boat. The captain sad the boat is carrying to much weight so the each have to throw off something they have to much of. The Brit throws tea, The Mexican throws tacos, and The American throws the Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a qoman with 10 kids? A mother with 10 kids

thumb_up thumb_down -15

3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? F*ck

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops