Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

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Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

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roses are red violets are blue im in class

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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Q:whats comes back to life and says RAR A;jesus

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What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

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Knock, Knock Who's there? No one OK???? BYE, BYE U still there? Yeah Umm . . . ?

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

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President Donald Trump

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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