Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Why did the audience laugh at Chaz Bono? Because he told a funny joke.

theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

rishi is gay (coventry england)

I said I hate niiggers

--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

Why did the black guy get kicked out of school? Because he was poor academically.

Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

rape that shit

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

What is worse then a worm in your apple? 2 worms in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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