Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's brown and smelly? Poop.

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

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How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

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This is not an anti joke.

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Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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A man walks into a bar. Dyslexia is not funny. -Tag

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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