Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

Stephen Walking.

Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

why hppened when the little boy failed his math test? He cut off his penis, shaved his head and hung himself

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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