Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

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Why John isn't smiling? Becouse he died yesterday

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Tim and Eric

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? "Where's my keys?!"

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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Man: Guess what! Other man: What? Man: Chicken butt

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Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

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Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

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Ok, for Christ’s sake, these sh!tty “animals falling out of a tree” jokes are NOT funny; they were never funny and they’re certainly not getting any funnier with you rehashing them every 5 posts. Fncking stop it.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

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Canada AYY

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What do you call a hobo that lives a in a box. A hobo

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there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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What is harder than Jenga? Being a quadraplegic.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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