- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

Chuck Norris is an average human being!

What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

Roses are red violets are blue you have cancer......

my name is Jacob sartorious

What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......LEAVES ROOM..... (HOUR LATER)COMES BACK IN THE ROOM "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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