Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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A midget walks under a bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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