What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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i'm funny

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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Sac

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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vaginas

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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