A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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hi will

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69

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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;aosughdfo

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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what do you call a gay guy Ej

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why did the cow eat the seahorse/ because my shift keys are broken1

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

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What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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