Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

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yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

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Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

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What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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What time is it? Ask chuck Norris! Gosh!!

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Pinus Testicles

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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A baby walks into a bar, I find that very unlikely as very few baby's can actually walk.

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Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

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Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

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What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

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What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

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What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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This would be racist to black people if they could read.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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