How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

obama leadership

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What time is it? Ask chuck Norris! Gosh!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Pinus Testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +15

John Rustenburg at the dinner table

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A baby walks into a bar, I find that very unlikely as very few baby's can actually walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops