What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

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Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

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What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

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Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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Why did the koahla fall out of the tree? It died.

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This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

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How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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