On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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