Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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Yeah right loser!

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

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Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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What comes after 23? 24.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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Yo mama's so fat. PERIOD.

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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