Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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Their, they're, there You're, your

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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