A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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