What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

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roses are red violets are blue im in class

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Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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A retarded man walks into a bar and everyone was polite about his disability.

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Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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A baby walks into a bar, I find that very unlikely as very few baby's can actually walk.

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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