EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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